Have you ever read Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind , by Shunryu Suzuki? If you haven't do so at once lol...it gives you the best best best mediation instruction, no matter what contemplative lineage you're in (or not). And somewhere in the middle is the most wonderful mysterious thing: two blank pages, with a life-size drawing of a fly on the upper right hand corner of the double-page spread. That's the moment of mind transmission right there! I'm not spoiling it by telling you. That's the amazing lovely thing about meditation: it proves that you can surprise yourself, aka that the future is possible, and new things can happen. I read it when I was 17. I was so upset...then I read this book and it totally changed my life. As we head into global warming space ever further, I can't insist enough on you having some kind of healing centering self-soothing practice that you do, whether it be making yourself a nice sandwich or meditating or donating to your favorite cha...